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This segement taken from Tiffany Stone
Published on February 23, 2005 By Tim Mack In Humor

I guess I did a lot of stupid things when I was a Kid. But buying my Mom a battery powered vibrator, had to be at the top of the list of stupid things I did. Of course, I had no idea what I was buying her at the time.

Well let me explain. When I was a kid, I would go to these auctions looking for things for my Science projects and everything was bid on so you knew how much it was going to be if you put a bid in on something. So that day I had found a few things I could use for my Science projects, so I started heading out the door.

As I was walking out the door, I could hear the auctioneer saying. "And this next item can give you a great massage."

Then I remembered that my Mom said a few days ago that she wished she could get a massage for her stiff neck.

So, I thought. "Christmas is coming soon, this might be a nice gift for Mom."

Then I heard the auctioners voice say. "Doesn't anyone else want to bid on this massager?"

So I raised the bid by 25 cents more, no one else put another bid in for it, so I got the thing.

I noticed I got a few funny looks from the people at the auction.

But I thought. "They're probably wondering what I'm doing at the auction."

I was the only Kid there, and I was still in grade school.

So, I got home, and wrapped up what I thought was just a massager for your neck or something and put it under the tree for Mom. Of course I was a bit perplexed why the bottom edge was so rounded.

But I thought. "Maybe that makes it vibrate better or something."

So, when Christmas came, everyone was there, my Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts and very close family friends. I watched my Mom as she opened up my present, and I noticed that she had a very surprised look on her face.

Then, I thought. "Good, I really surprised her."

But then I noticed that my Dad and my Grandparents also had a very surprised look on their face.

But as I explained to my Mom, that. "I got that for her, so that she could massage her neck." Everyone starting laughing. I couldn't figure out what was so funny.

Then my Dad said to me. "Could you help me take some things from the kitchen."

When we got into the kitchen, my Dad explained to me, what the vibrator was used for, and why it was shaped that way. When I asked my Dad.

"Why would any woman want to use a vibrator there?

My Dad just said. "I'll explain that to you another time."

So, I had bought my Mom a sex toy for Christmas. But at least Mom forgave me for my oversight. After still giving me a hug for the thought at least, I realised that day, just how much my Mom really loved me.

"Yes, it was a learning experience."

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